Who knew a mere trip to the movies could have such an impact. I can’t begin to describe all the feelings and thoughts that were swirling around in my head as I watched the Mockingjay part 2. Let’s just start with I will never look at life the same way again. I’ve been working hard lately to strengthen my relationship with God as I get ready to go out into the world. I know I need his strength and guidance and I’m already lost at where to start my journey. Tonight, thanks to the final Hunger Games movie, I saw through God’s eyes and it was the best and worst moment of my life.
I know that we have soldiers overseas, people suffering at home and far away and I always have felt bad but tonight it really sunk in. People past and present facing the horrors of war, children left helpless without parents, families without food to eat or proper health care. People taking the lives of others. No matter what anyone has done in life, no one deserves to die at the hands of another. The effects of revenge are anything but pretty and even though it might not feel like it at the time, it is still wrong.
The Mockingjay part 2 gets very intense and I started to picture our soldiers watching each other die without being able to do anything to help, hearing the ear splintering screams of someone suffering to death just an arm’s reach away. I wanted to jump into the movie and tell them to all stop killing each other. It was awful and I almost had to leave. It was endless killing, revenge, suffering, and I was crying practically the whole movie. Imagine children around the world going through terrible ordeals at the merciless hands of others while starving, freezing, hysterically afraid. I think sometimes in our comfort lives we forget just how real all of these things are to the people around us.
Acts of terrorism, kidnappings, rapings, murders, wars, hunger, etc. The list goes on and on and tonight it all just clicked. It felt too real and I felt like I was going through each horrible second of it in real life. I don’t wish any of this suffering on anyone and I felt helpless. When I started to think about what I call “troubles” in my life, I started to feel ashamed. I was all worried about stupid things like how my hair looks, my FB profile, wanting more than a bowl of chocolate ice cream, but there are people all around me suffering in one form or another. And the worst part of this realization, I have no idea what to do about it. Why has God given me this revelation? What does he want me to see? To do? Just competing on horses and watching movies seems insignificant and silly with all of these things going on in the world but I don’t think God wants me to give up on my rodeo dreams either. I’m struggling to grasp what God wants me to get out of this and will definitely be praying for guidance.
I do know one thing. I have a new perspective. I can get over not getting to do what I want all the time and appreciate spending time with my family. I can make people smile and not care too much about what I look like but rather how I act. I want to make people feel like they matter and help them out as much as I can. I don’t know where the road will take me but I do know that I can go out of my way to be kind, positive, and share the gospel. Maybe with time God’s purpose will be revealed. I can’t imagine how he feels having to watch all of this all the time going on in our world. Just catching a glimpse of it for an hour was awful, it must be heartbreaking for him to watch his children sometimes. But I do know that God watches over us and cares for us with a love that never stops giving. Jesus Christ suffered for us so that we may be forgiven of our mistakes and make it back home to them in heaven.
I do not know why everything happens the way it does or why there is so much terror in the world right now but just have faith, pray, keep the commandments, and strive to be the best that you can be everyday. God has a plan for you and if you listen he will help guide you to a destiny beyond your comprehension. I was definitely humbled by this experience and I can’t believe some of the things I take for granted.
Here is a quote I remembered while thinking through all of this from Russel M Ballards conference talk “A plea to my sisters”. “Are you finished crying? Then go to work! You need to learn more. If you quit now others will have to painfully learn what you already know”
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