Learning

            I spent a lot of my life struggling with depression and anxiety. Struggling with myself and my thoughts and with people. Recently a lot has changed for me because of Christ. Because I decided that I didn’t want to live my life the way I was. I wanted to be happy. I was tired of having breakdowns everyday. And of worrying about everything under the sun, everything I didn’t have control over.

             I wanted a change. I wanted to change. It’s only been several days haha so I have a long ways to go but already my life is so different. I put God first everyday and I work hard to find ways to serve others because I’ve realized that I love people and I love helping people. And I want to continue to become better with that.

             I’ve learned that positivity is key and so is filling your days with uplifting people, media, and activities. That trials are blessings that help you become more like Christ and that happiness can be found in everyday, no matter how things have gone.

           I’m learning to live in the moment and to just live by faith and with hope instead of by fear and with doubt. To roll with life because nothing ever goes the way you plan.

           I’ve also discovered that its ok to cry and feel emotions. Emotions have power. They help us to learn and find motivation. But if we let them, they can also be crippling and paralyzing. Life is so much better laughing, even through the hard times

          You can’t do everything and there never seems to be enough time in the day. I’ve learned that what matters is not that you did everything but in what you chose to do. If you put God first and loved others and did your best, then it was a good day.

           I’ve realized that Heavenly Father and Christ are there in all the moments in everyday. I just didn’t see it before. I spent too much time seeing the bad and fearing that I missed the good and the beauty. We live in a beautiful world and are surrounded by amazing people. No one is perfect but overall people are good and they try so hard. 

          The secret to life is that people change people. And what matters is what we do for others. Love is always the answer, it is how we are patient, caring, helpful, and break down those walls. It is how we truly care about others even when they are difficult or not kind to us. Contention only brings more contention but love brings the spirit and peace.

           I’ve learned that life is so much more enjoyable when you don’t worry about what everyone else thinks about you. It’s freeing to just be yourself and truly love yourself for who you are, flaws and all. When you start to see yourself and others through Heavenly Father’s eyes. And you realize that you’d rather be your silly self and love for Christ than live a life trying to be someone that you aren’t.

           There is peace in Christ. That is what I have learned overall through the last several weeks. That no matter how good or bad things are doing that Christ is always there and He is the source of true joy and peace.

           Because of Him I have no reason to fear, no reason to worry about the future. Because of Him I can try again when I make mistakes and I can find strength beyond my own in the toughest of times.
All I need to do is move forward with faith, work hard, and trust God. If I live for Him I know that everything will work out. Maybe in a different way than I had planned but they will work out in the best way for me.

           I love this life and I love the people that I am surrounded by. I am so blessed in many ways. I go to a great school and have the opportunity to do the emt training that I’ve always wanted to do. I get horse and dog time and the chance to work sometimes and it’s the best.

           I have amazing roommates who I just adore and get along with so great and friends who care and allow me to be myself. I live in a beautiful place where the weather can get a little unpredictable haha but when the sun is shining it is so breathtaking and perfect. I live close enough to walk to a temple where I can draw closer to God and gain spiritual strength.

          I am blessed with enough time to get the important things done and to not become so stressed that I give up. I have an amazing ward and bishop and love my new calling and the girls that I get to work with. I am able to wake up everyday and feel joy. I am able to look into the mirror and smile and love who I see. I am able to see God’s hand in my life and feel Him beside me everyday.

            I still have questions and fears and don’t know what I’m doing with my life haha but now I feel peace. I don’t have to have all of the answers. I don’t have to have a set plan that I follow every second to be happy.

           Things don’t have to work out when and how I think they should for me to have a good life. Challenges are good and so is growing outside of my comfort zone. I know what is important to me and what I want in this life. I know who I want to be and the type of people I want to surround myself with. Life isn’t perfect but life is good

Me just being silly in the morning in my pajamas haha