Fear vs Faith: how I made a tough decision

I’ve let most of my life be run by fear.  Because fear is a good motivator.  Everybody has them and everyone runs from them for at least a little while.  Then there comes a time when you realize that you have to face your fears.  You cannot change and grow into the person you were meant to be if you let fear stop you.  Fear paralyzes us and keeps us from growing our comfort zones and from strengthening our weaknesses.

 Do you want to know what an even greater motivator than fear is?  Faith.  Faith is how we stand strong in the face of fear.  Because nothing gives us more courage than trusting that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have got our backs no matter what.

Neil L Anderson reminds us that “fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time”.  They are opposites.  We must replace our fear with faith in Christ.  We won’t know everything, but we should have a strong testimony of Christ and His gospel so that we can have the faith to rely on Him and continue forward.  Then we will be able to say as Nephi did in 1 Nephi 11:17, that I don’t know everything but I do know that God loves me.  And that is enough to take one step forward in faith.     

Changing our fear into faith can be hard and is a slow process at first, one that I have only just begun.  But it changes your perspective of the world.  Instead of running from a challenge, you run towards it.  Instead of worrying about failure, you just give it your all and know that God has a plan.  You pray for help and guidance and you are willing to put the Lord’s will above your own, even when it is so tough.  Sacrificing for the Lord is worth it because you know that when you follow Him, everything will be ok.  We will still experience hardships and trials and tests of faith, but if we remain steadfast, everything will work out for our good in the end.   

I’ve had some pretty tough decisions to make lately.  The most recent being if I was going to head back to school for winter semester or wait a little longer.  I prayed hard and asked God to help guide me and I kept receiving the answer that either choice would be ok.  I had to make the decision for myself and that was scary for me.  I changed my mind everyday and was paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision.  Again and again, Heavenly Father reassured me that all would be well.  I want to stay because I am scared of going back to school.  I had left the previous semester early due to mental health issues and I hadn’t done well in school.  I fear that I will flunk out or not be able to handle the social situations.  I am an Arizona girl, so I fear being in the frozen Idaho tundra.  I also am not sure what to do without being able to box everyday or have my family with me.  

I could totally stay and I think everything would still work out good, God has told me as much.  But I also know that I don’t want to keep living by fear.  I want to live by faith.  And I know that I need to be in Idaho.  Heavenly Father has always told me that Idaho is where He wants me to be. I need to stop questioning every little thing and just move forward in faith.  Sure I don’t have all of the answers but God does and He is right there beside me.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ won’t leave me alone.  They are always there to comfort, strengthen, and guide me.  

Luke 1:37 states that “with God all things are possible” and I want to start living by that.  I am terrified to go back to school and to continue pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, but I know that I can do anything with God’s help.  I can pass this next semester.  I can make friends.  I can share the gospel.  I can do anything the Lord asks of me because He will always provide a way.
 I am scared, but I am going to face my fears and go back to school at BYU-Idaho.  I don’t know if I’m ready, but I do know that Heavenly Father and Christ will be with me every step of the way.  It is hard for me to put the Lord’s will ahead of my own sometimes, but I need to have faith that He knows what is best.  So watch out Idaho, I’m coming back!!